Farewell Dinner cum Party....

Today, after the hard work in the office.. we all were prepared for a farewell dinner for 1 of my Handsome colleague... sadly.. he's leaving us.. and My 3 Musketeers has lost 1 now... need replacement. Hope the new colleague will be as good looking as this colleague of mine.

However, We had our dinner at Firefly, KK Time Square. Fun place and nice environment. The food was delicious too.. although it's not as filling as I was expecting. Pork Ribs... mmmm...... Next time must order the same menu.

So, after the dinner, we went on to the next door, which was a pub of the same restaurant. There's live band and the environment was cosy. My handsome boss (1 of the 3 musketeers) had ordered some hard liquor, which I do not know of what brand nor type of it. All I know is it's sweet and nice to drink with coke or lime water. Soon after down some shots.. my colleagues started to hit up and tried to conquer the dance floor. I am a slow motor. And I don't dance in general. Therefore, all I did is enjoy the music and enjoy looking at my handsome colleagues + boss to demo their dance skills.

But, things were not always as good as that... I was forced to dance. What more, was forced to dance by my handsome boss. Wooohooo... I was even "molested" by him many times to make me dance.. lol... Well, to keep the situation fun, I finally did some small moves... and danced along with them. It was an interesting night though.. And it was very happening and enjoyable. Especially seeing 3 of my musketeers making their killer moves. lol...

Anyway, That party is the reason I'm now posting at this late night while I should have gone to bed to prepare for my dog's life. But I just got home and got showered. Now, at this very moment, I'm waiting for my hair to get dry before I dose off.. However, I think I'll end here.. and continue my sweet dreams of handsome and hope I get some Wet Dreams... hahahahha.. good night. Love.

Definition of Charm....

Whenever you ask me how do I look, I'd admit that I don't look bad. At least I'm slightly above average if not above average. LOL... However, this Kid from earlier (Hmm.. let's call him Kid A), who was fond of me. Thinks that I'm very good looking and sexy to a certain extend. I was like laughing and of cause I felt the joy also lah... Who doesn't minta puji. However, I am not really into him but I'm very happy to be friend with him. Well, that disappointed him and he went to emo state again... sad sad.

However, he said that I'm a hot cake in the PLU community.. which I doubt. and that people will constantly come to know me if I go to QBar (A local gay bar in Sabah), Which I never step foot in there.. cause I don't like clubbing. I was like wondering the truthfulness. Or was I his taste that's why he said so. I wonder. Anyway, I'm sorry lah to bring him up and down with emotions after knowing me. I'm such a terrible guy.

On the other hand, I've met another guy too. He too thinks that I'm hot and sexy.. hahahahhaha I really do like praises.. Well, It's part of Leo... can't help it. But, I'm like fat? K lah maybe the word stocky suits me.. but still I have a belly.. a big 1 too.. sadly.. all the hard works in gym won't work on me. But, in my eyes.. those guys with fit athlete bodies are the hotties to me. Maybe everyone has their own definition of hotness and sexyness and mine happen to be the toned type. But people I met prefers meaty type. After all, the chinese proverb "情人眼里出西施" says it all. In case u can't read, it means beauty comes in every individual eyes. It's our own perspective of beauty that defines beauty. But what do u think of me?

hehehe..

The Company

Hmm.. actually, 2 separate things to tell here..

Last Saturday, our company had a team building event at Lembah Impian. quite a nice place with swimming pool (will include the story later.. lol). So, we had our fun, dinner, and Karaoke and dance there. Dinner was so so though. Coz the food were not really tasteless but not strong enuf.. Yeah.. i like strong taste.. lol. Everything was good. and good thing is all the handsomes within the company attended the event too.

So, after the tally match, my colleague and I decided if we can go swim in the pool since we were the house guest. and this colleague of mine is the handsome which i kinda like (want to see him? check out my flicker.. he's the 1 sitting next to me) So, we went to the pool shirt less.. and GOSH~ he's fit n sexy. Hahahahaha.. not only that.. other handsomes from other branch came to join us in the pool too... Wooohoooo.... Wolf in action.. lol.. There's this 1 kid.. he's got damn sexy body, i suppose he doesn't like underwear as I can most of the time see his butt crack whenever he's working. He jumped into the pool with his jeans.. Awoooooooooo...

K K.. on other hand. The kid from earlier post (who was mad at me), finally chatted with me again in msn. And we had a VERY long chat.. from 11pm i think to like 430am... I was like sleeping panda the next day, Slept all the time at my grandma's house. Then, at around 4pm. I received his text.. we exchanged sms then I told him why not we meet up for a short tea before dinner. So, I took the long way to his place.. got lost a few rounds. Finally, then we met up.. had some tang yuen in some leong cha pou (rice ball in some dessert house). We chatted and everything was good.. now he's happy and i'm happy.. lol.. next i wanna find my other friend.. which i suppose from this lesson i've learnt that don't let them wait too long. This Kid gave me a phrase "Jual Mahal" (Sell at High Price) for I'm hard to meet and refused him too many times. lol.. Well, I'm just some cheapskate so dont mistaken me as Expensive stuff.. lol.. That's all.. Tata!

我是坏人。。。

我是好人也是个坏人。。。。

I guess this phrase suits me a lot now... month ago I've chatted with this guy who was fust of me earlier.. he was complaining that I've promised to meet up with him but yet I've not look for him at all. Well, I guess there are few reasons that I didn't look for him and 1 of them is distance for sure... he stays far away from my place.

But all and all, We were chatting happily that day. Even had some webcam session. See how he did and so on. Then I promised him to meet up for a drink on the coming Thursday (Which was yesterday) But I'm kinda discreet and I usually won't reject my friends when they ask for a drink at week ends or holiday seasons. So, unluckily on Thursday afternoon, my friends were sort of suggesting to go for a drink. But I have my appointment for this kid... So... I just follow the flow. I took the invitation and thinking that I can go after meeting my friends. Which I was expecting a time like 1030 or 11 pm. However, this Kid has a curfew at 11pm. Shit... that troubles me. I thought of many ways to meet both ends. I've even thought of letting Kid to stay at my place for overnight. But on 2nd thought my friends may even end up at 12am... So, I dared not let a promise to the Kid.

Therefore, I've thought that I can make up with him for a morning breakfast. So, I proposed to him that. He was definitely angry and called me a liar. Maybe I am. I didn't give much reply nor any explanations to him. I think it's not necessary anymore. Since I'm the 1 at fault here.. explaining myself will only make things worse. So I let it be and just replied to say will call him this morning(Which I did, but there's no reply from him). Then after the meeting with my friends, I opened the MSN and saw this " [Heart break] You gAve me thE hoPe and Lights up My liFe, why Would you Smashed it Now ?" as his headline. Poor kid...

I'm sorry.. but I can't say much.

Not Again... Another Wedding Day...

Well, this time my friend's wedding. It was a rushing dinner.. dunno rush for what.

Anyway, as the seats were prearranged for the guesses, we (ex colleagues) were assigned to table No. 41. However, there's this I dunno relatives or friends, were confused with their seats and were temporally assigned to our table. Since we did have extra seats, we did not mind. But I tell you. The guy sitting opposite me was SO DAMN HANDSOME. OMG... I was like very much distracted when I was "sampating" with my ex colleague. Took every chance available to glimpse on him. Hai.... My heart was so happy as i thought we were going to share dinner the whole night. But too bad they were relocated to other tables. And I had lost where he is... Due to I have to keep my cool to hide my orientation. So sad...

But he did go to the toilet like twice. And our table was just next to the toilet. So... Yeah i got to see his face. Twice.. hehe.. Plus, luckily he didn't leave right away after the dinner so I finally spotted his table and took another few glimpse on him. I really hope that he's gay and that I had imprinted some impression to him.. hai... feeling emo now...

Good night.

Wedding Day!!

No lah not mine. Mou tin tin kena invite to some far relative's wedding. Lucky not me paying for the bomb. lol... anyway, It was held in a hotel in 1 Borneo. Food was ok ok..

There's nothing to write about. However, few things to tell.. 1st I went there with my mom. And we followed my auntie's car which was driven by my handsome cousin. lol... He's so far the best looking cousin I have.. though there's another 1 in my Father's side family. Anyway, we reached there at around 6. All this and that dinner at 8. Nothing I want to tell bout the wedding. But there's this guy I kinda eying on all night long. lol.. he's a waiter servicing other tables.. too bad he didn't serve us. But he's got the handsomeness in him.. and was serving on a table where there's also another good looking guy sitting. Shit.. I lost my focus.. what bout the wedding i don't know.. but.. ehehehe.. at least i enjoyed the peeping of good looks around. especially the waiter... yum yum....

Signs....

1. Ever when I was young, I was more gentle than the other boys.
2. In class I was called gay when I was primary school (Hmm.. I guess they knew me better than I did at that time.)
3. I started to have crush at other guys in primary school. (Which I didn't even realised. I only think that there are more handsomes than pretties)
4. My crush to guys are more distinct as I grow. I've even specifically liked a guy but still think that if he's my brother....
5. I surfed straight porn at 1st.. but always would end up with guys and penises.
6. Everyone keeps asking don't I have a taste of girl but I cannot say any of it. But when taste of guys.. I certainly do have some.
7. My friends are getting even more and more worried about my single life.
8. They even suspected if I were gay (which I am)
9. I've tried f*cking a prostitute but wasn't as enjoying as I thought.
10. I've tried f*cking a guy (which is not my type) and getting some pleasure. Though I don't really wanna do him again.
11. I like to see guys without shirt. Especially those fit and sexy. Handsome is definitely a plus.
12. I saw a guy changing in the fitting room at my gym area today. He wasn't wearing any undies in his jeans. He was embarrassed to change in front of me and turned his back side to me. I saw the butt and instantly getting a hard on. I embarrassed to face him and sided my position in order to hide my popping bulge. Jeez... gays must not look at other naked guys in changing rooms to avoid embarrassment. That's a lesson.

Good night.

What a day!!

Two days ago, my friend told me that his gf has some uni friends coming over and are going to pulau on this sunday (which is today). He said he'll be bored alone with bunch of strangers. So he asked me to tag along. So I agreed.

Then on Saturday, he told me the island trip was canceled as they went to island on that day. But instead, there's another trip, the mountain trip. Yeah, that's right the all famous Mt. Kinabalu. So ok... and the promising point of interest is the Hot Spring, which is located in Ranau.

So early this morning, I had to wake up at 5 something close to 6. Got myself prepared and picked up by the gf (btw the gf is also my friend - ex-classmate + ex-colleague). We 3 met up before 7 and together with a friend of the gf. So all 4 of us were wating for the bunch. Waited... waited... and waited.. we couldn't wait any longer and decided to meet at the breakfast place. So, we drove all the way up to Menggatal(don't ask me about this, is a place in Sabah) for breakfast. I was about to finish then the bunch just arrived to meet with us. That was the breakfast.

So, we started our journey and reached the 1st destination, the Fish Spa treatment. I'm not too sure what's the purpose of the fish spa as i think it's more of fish feeding than spa. only 1 or 2 fishes were biting my feet yet the others just come for the fish food.

After 15 min of fish feeding, we went ahead for the specialty of the day, the Hot Spring. but we were there like 1+ pm. had our lunch and went into the hot spring at 2+pm (close to 3pm). Mind u it took 1 1/2 hr from my place to reach this place. and along the way, we have to pass through Mt. Kinabalu, which the road will be full of fog in the evening. also that is sort of a dangerous place to drive at night. Due to the winding road and tons of heavy load vehicles. So, we only got our spot at 3.30pm but we estimated to return by 4pm. I didn't even get to fill up the water in the tub to my ankle and time is up. I was so hype to go there for some relaxing moments and yet I got nothing. OKay~

So we left with a disappointed heart. Anyway, on the plus side, there are lots of sexies... Woohoo.... nice body everywhere. Good looks, lots of them.. hahahaha.. anyway, gotta back to ironing now.. tomorrow is working day.. Sigh~

Is it me or Kids nowadays....

Recently I've met a guy.. 22 yo. He's average looking (like me), but kinda nice to chat with. However, this guy is sorta fond of me for some reason. He said that i look handsome and he'd think of me from time to time... lol.. honestly, i kinda feel happy for that.. at least i know someone do appreciate me.

However, I think he's kinda emo sometimes. For example, he hoped that we can meet. Maybe today. But i replied to him saying i can't cause my mom's sick and i need to look after her (this was via SMS). Then when he's online, he asked me if i have anything on today. so I told him i'm going windsurfing after work. Then, later through SMS (Probably he then read my message from phone), he said my mom's sick n i want to look after her yet i go windsurfing. That's contradicting. But I replied that i wont be going anywhere at night. And his reply is "All the same". * Head scratch *

wonder was it my problem or he's been a little bit over emotional. I didn't reply him after that last message. Cause, i was taking him as friend, but this conversation sounds like couple grumping... I'm so confused.

Vacation??!! Why So fast over.......

Last Sunday, I was on a trip to Pulau Penang. together with a couple. So, the trio had decided to conquer the food in Penang (as that's what famous for). However, We've missed some list. Sad Sad... everynight back to hotel with bloated stomach. Just feel like fasting for few days just to digest of the food.

Anyway, time is so soon n that vacation is over. Damn. Now back to KK (Sabah) and preparing for work tomorrow. Jeezz... Sure lots of preasures await. Anyway, I think that Penang has many good looking guys too... It's good for the eyes though. Got my "rest" from the scene.. LOL..

Btw, On the other hand, as I m back early today. So I was planning on going to my fav sport = Badminton. Yeah!

At the badminton, My friend brought in a new guy to join the game. And I've seen this guy's face before in FB. I think he was handsome... Hell knows he appeared in the court today. and HE IS HANDSOME. Gosh... + 1 Handsome again. YEAH!! hope he'll join our group for good... Kinda good player too.. I LOVE Badminton indeed...

Good night

A share of my type of guy.....

Basically, as long he's handsome I'd like. A nice body is definitely a plus. However, doesn't matter what he is, I still prefer an asian, specifically a yellow skin　（ｗｈｉｃｈ　ｉｎｃｌｕｄｅｓ　ｊａｐａｎｅｓｅ，　ｋｏｒｅａｎ　ｏｒ　ｃｈｉｎｅｓｅ，　ｔｈｏｕｇｈ　Ｉ＇ｄ　ｐｒｅｆｅｒ　ｊａｐａｎｅｓｅ　ｔｈｅ　ｌｅｓｓ　－ｎｏ　ｏｆｆｅｎｃｅ）　ａｎｄ　ｐｒｏｂａｂｌｙ　ｔｈａｉｓ　ｏｒ　Filipinos．　Ｔｈｅｙ　ｊｕｓｔ　ｈａｖｅ　ｇｒｅａｔ　ｆａｃｅｓ．　Ｃａｎ＇ｔ　ｈｅｌｐ　ｉｔ．

Ｈｏｗｅｖｅｒ，　ｈｅｒｅ　I'd　ｌｉｋｅ　ｔｏ　ｉｎｃｌｕｄｅ　ｓｏｍｅ　ｏｆ　ｍｙ　ｆａｖｓ　ｔｈａｔ　ｗｉｌｌ　ｋｅｅｐ　ｍｅ　ｉｎｆｒｏｎｔ　ｏｆ　ｔｈｅ　ｔｖ．

１．　
郭彦均＆郭彦甫

Ｔｈｅｓｅ　ｄｕｏ　ａｒｅ　ｓｏ　ｃｈａｒｍｉｎｇ　ｔｈａｔ　Ｉ　ｌｉｋｅｄ　ｔｈｅｍ　ｔｈｅ　１ｓｔ　ｔｉｍｅ　Ｉ　ｓａｗ　ｔｈｅｍ　ｏｎ　ｔｖ．　Ｇｏｏｄ　ｌｏｒｄ．．　ｈｏｗ　ｃａｎ　２　ｏｆ　ｓｕｃｈ　ｃｕｔｅ　ｆａｃｅｓ　ｐｏｐ　ｕｐ　ａｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｓａｍｅ　ｔｉｍｅ．．．．　Ｇｏｄ　ｂｌｅｓｓｅｄ．

２．　
簡 孝儒, ＪＲ　－　Ｋ－Ｏｎｅ

Ｇｅｅｓｓ．．．　ｈｏｐｅ　ｉ＇ｍ　ｎｏｔ　ｖｉｏｌａｔｉｎｇ　ｂｙ　ｔａｋｉｎｇ　ｔｈｅｓｅ　ｐｈｏｔｏｓ．．．

This is a damn gorgeous guy that I like which is from a Taiwan boy band, which i don't listen to their music... sorry to say.. those musics just leave to those siu mui mui (little girls) lah...


３.
韩宜邦 (a.k.a Junior)

This guy, I've only seen him on taiwan talk shows. But he's just god damn handsome with a naughty look in it... mmmm... i kinda like naughty guys.. lol.

4.
郑嘉颖

I'm sure this guy needs no further introduction. a TVB actor with such a god damn look... his eyes just kill ppl.. lol...


However, the favouritism is not in order... they are all equally handsome and suit my taste in anyways... just a thought to share.. of course there are some other cute guys that i'd not want to miss eventhough they are no big shots in stardom. But, these ppl keep me infront of the tv everytime i spot them :)

Good nite..

A Second Post In A Day....

Well, I'd just like to share this video I came across in youtube. Which I think is sentimental and I like it alot... it nearly made me drop tears... how sad n sorrowful to lose a person u like

Oopps.. I've broke it....

After 2 weeks of straining works outstation, I was complexly filled with tiredness and horny. Reached home on Saturday night and check the routines (flickr & planetromeo), watched some porn and got to sleep.

The next morning, with refreshing mind I checked back the routines. A PM from some anonymous asking if I'm free for sex. Was like........ Damn I'm horny now and lets get it done for then. Smsed the guy and waited for reply... all and all it was settled that we meet at his place at 11pm.

As we met, I was kinda disappointed as he's a chub but claming himself average(no offense to chubs though... just that my preference is someone slimmer). wt... but to fix my horny dick I just went on. we were both shy and didn't know what to do. Then he touched my dick and we both removed our cloths and I started do him. Damn... I'm no good at writing porn scripts...

Did him twice and left. Well, I kinda dunno what to do after the sex part.. felt like play toy as i was just lying doing nothing and he keeps hugging and playing me up and down. I had my regrets for accepting random sex. But sex was fun no doubt.... and I'm officially gay now... sad sad sad...

End.

Random

It seems I'm not a very active blogger... Maybe I should put more effort on my writings sometimes. Anyway, been busy with works lately. But not all bout work. I've been surfing the net often too. Read others' blogs or find friends and sort of.

However, apart from the net life, I'm very active in physical activities too. Lately, I've picked up windsurfing. And I think it's a fun sport.. 1ce u get to move with the wind, u'll get the fun. Although I'm not anywhere good now.. but I'll keep on with this sport.. Interesting.. moving from sailing to windsurfing...

Anyway, gotta crash now.. so Selamat Hari Raya to all my malay friends - although is a little late.. but still...

Merdeka Day Regatta!!

Over these 2 days, there's a sailing event going on in my club. It's a big event as it's a ranking competition for those optimist sailors. The whole of Malaysia have sent their representatives to come for this event.

In the event there are many categories of boat, Some I've seen some I've not (but not a big deal, It's just the sail) among them we have optimist, Int 420, Int 470, Laser, 4.7 and wind surfing. But I've joined none of those.. hahaha

Actually I wasn't taking part in any of the event, even though I've signed up for the Int 470 with a not coming crew. Well who cares, as long registration is free for members and I've got my t-shirt.. haha

Anyway, I still did something for these 2 days. I was on the OD boat and helped taking scores. 1st we did the races for the little Novice optimists. kids are kids and they kind of cute... hahahaha.. sometimes u get to see thier blur faces or panicking looks... funny I'd say.

But the up coming races belong to the windsurfers. I myself like windsurfing but didn't get to try. And I started off as an Int. 470 sailor. Anyhow, I'm starting off windsurfing lesson this coming Saturday.. wohooo..

Anyway, the wind was too light for windsurfing and non of the sails of our club suits for light wind. Therefore, the Penang duo won the 1st and 2nd of the position. And 1 of the Penang is good looking.. and I tell you.... his body is so damn hot.. hahahaha

well, unlucky for them, the 2nd day had a better wind condition. But the 1st race was for the novice Optimists. And they had their hectic moments in the rough sea. We've rescued few boats from capsizing. But, by the time the windsurfers come out, the wind had drastically died down. Too bad... So that makes lose-lose situation for both sides.. hahahaha... anyway... was a fun day.

Yes!! Yes!!

Ah~ my long waited Wednesday. No calls from my piano teacher... means chance to peep on leng chai...

Well, today I didn't have enough of badminton. Didn't perform very well either.. however, got the chance to be a team with this handsome I mentioned earlier. (Happy) even though the result was 1 win 1 lose. And we lost badly... hai.... next time must not be distracted.

On other plus.. I.... got the chance to see him shirtless.. hahahaha....
Yes Yes Yes.... so happy. Why'd I get happy over this small thing? Pathetic.

Anyway... gotta sleep now.. need to slim down is my target now. Else how to match with the leng chais out there. And pro said sleep earlier helps in slimming.. so nite.

On 10th August 2009

Yesterday, I was kinda lucky to have pleasant my eyes since the morning. On my way to work, I saw this guy was bathing with only is undie. Well, he's got a sexy body to begin with, even though he's just a blue collar worker onsite. Then, end of the day, I was on my way for badminton. Yet another construction worker without a top grabbed my attention with his sexy 6 packs abs. There are so many of them nowadays as they are fixing the main road.

But those are just complements for the day. As I've mentioned earlier, I love playing badminton. And I usually play on every Monday and Wednesday. Oh and also Friday but with a different group. Anyway, in the group of Monday and Wednesday, 1 good looking guy came to join earlier this year (friend of my friend). He's a little chub but kinda good looking. I'd consider he's an OK OK player though. However, few months later, last week to be specific, came another good looking. A friend of the 1st good look. And I tell you, this new good looking guy is someone I've "bookmarked" few years back when I was still in college. He was a same class with me, although we never spoke. But I definitely had an eye on him (so as now). But his appearance also reminded me of the embarrassing moment I had with him around.

Back in few years, I was sitting with my friends and right behind of him in a class. I was slacking on the chair while the class was going on. And of all unexpected situation, as I was straightening up I gave out a big fart, which was sound. But no one would bother to look at me except him. *blush*

Anyway, seeing him back again after those years. I'm happy that I may have a chance to reknow him. Hope we can be at least friends. And yeah, he's a good player.... I especially like it when he jump smash at me :D

And I for sure don't want to miss the play for this Wednesday. Hope my piano teacher wont ask for a reschedule on Wednesday or else I'll lose the chance to bond our connection more...

That's all and good bye.

Ps. From time to time I took a glimpse of him too when we were playing and he's opposing me. Prob that's why we almost lost to his team.. But hey... I'm a good player too you see..

Here goes another year....

1st Of all, I'd like to wish myself Happy Birthday as tomorrow is my birthday (which is about half an hour from now).

2nd-ly, I'm happy that my friends even thought of celebrating my birthday today and we had a BIG dinner tonight.Well, tomorrow I'm going back to my mom's house for tomorrow is also my grand mother's birthday based on the Chinese Calendar. Anyway, I said BIG dinner is because we've got 4 of us and we bought some lamb, chicken, hot dog with cheese, prawn, squid, shellfish, and my mom made salad (as they have requested) and my friend's salad as well.

So, we had the night to down the food. And I love food that I've been eating alot and we nearly cleaned the whole food we brought, but left a piece of lamb which was over cooked and none of us had any interest in food. So we packed and cleaned then left the place. I came back after sending my friend home. Seems like that's how I'd spend for my Birthday... good enough for me though :)

Oh and I've received my bday gift from my brother. Thanks. And Good night to all :)

A Little About Me....

I'm a programmer as profession, not the hard working type though.. However, I do think I learn fast in programming... (Prob because I do have some interest in the field), but I procrastinate so much that I'm even doing it now as I type.

I love sports. And I used to swim alot when I was younger. I'd say myself as a good swimmer and still love swimming. Only that I swim less nowadays. Other than swimming, I found other sports when I started working. So currently I've done swimming, diving, sailing, badminton, jogging and I visit the gym room often. Well, need a healthy life here.. However, I never get the body I desire. Maybe I'm just eating more than I should.

I love food, I'd eat a whole cow if it's delicious. Although I may not as big an eater as some who has no bottom, but I'm still as much a big eater (provided the food is nice).

Also some history of my health. I've twisted my back from badminton before. I couldn't even stand straight and when I look into the mirror I'm like standing in 'S' form.. how weird. I've also got slip disc at the age of 27. Pathetic that is, why would I have such sickness at such young age. Anyway... that's all I can think of.

PS. Oh and I get to meet lots of good lookings during sports.. Probably that's the main motivation I venture into sports so much :)

Random....

Sometime after the last post, I've not been blogging enough.. Well, things just keep coming up. The week after the cute trainer, my brother came back for holiday with his gf. Well, we did a little of this and that... here and there. Mostly we spend on food. And I got to meet my bro's friend, which is a Jazz fanatic. But he's just unique... and kind of handsome too...

After that, time passed and my brother went back to KL. So, we are back to our normal routine. I continued with my badminton and gym. Life's just as normal as can be. Had my first time singing in public. Still shy off alot... and they said my voice is just too deep.. maybe I didn't sing with all I have yet... Wait and see lah.. haha!

Other than that, nothing much to update... hope to see more guys :)

These Days...

Last week, our company had invited some trainers from Australia to give training on some surveying devices. I wasn't paying much attention to them as they'll only come to give us training the week after.

However, due to the arrangement of manpower to bring them dinner, I was involved on guiding them around the places along with my other colleague. Last Sunday was the 1st day to bring them around town. I then realised that there's a cute guy among the trainers. He's just about my height, a Vietnamese grown up in Australia. He's got an average body I'd say.. but his face is so damn good looking that I'd almost want to 'tapao' him home. But I just kept that to myself.

So, 2 guys did I mention, but 1 of them went back to Australia on that Sunday. And that evening we brought this cute trainer to a beachside club house for dinner. Of course, we had a walk along the beach side. It was nice that we enjoyed sunset together. Had a big dinner (Oh I always like to feed my guest full whenever they come to visit) 2 buckets of beer and then went home. the next day will be the training.

On site training, I got the chance to take a glimps of him from time to time. Especially HE is the TRAINER, who doesnt pay attention to look at his trainer? He's just too sexy that even my female colleague was saying that. She likes his butt too... lol.. ( I only got to know this this evening)

That night I was too, incharge for his dinner. With the constraint budget, got to have some dinner in town, which I think he's satisfied with the food. Had heard some stories of him, knew him abit and apparently he's the same age as me (which is even perfect) However, I was too coward and too quiet to have asked more about him.
Note to self: Gotta improve my communication skill

Anyway, through out the admiring sessions, tonite is the last time I'll get to see him. Well, I actually still get to see him more but through the picture. I'd rather meet him face to face again.
Brought him to one of the famous restaurant here in town, hope he liked the dinner. That's all I can serve for him with such a short time. But I sure enjoyed every moments with him.

Damn, I think I had a crush on him in such a short time... I'm getting more and more like a whore lately. Wish him have a safe journey back to Australia... good nite!!

Random...

Last night.. my brother called my mom. He said, mom may need to be prepared for his wedding. He is planning on engaging with his girl friend, Dede. It was good to hear that he finally plans to plant his foot and start to root the family.

On the other hand, Mom did ask me if I have any girls in mind... I'd just say no. And she just said maybe faith has not come for me yet. And I said ya. Maybe....

My mom is kind of a modern lady. She doesn't push me to get a girl and get married. However, deep down I sure knew that she too has a conservative mind which wishes the family to branch out and grow. But I can never promise her that... what should I do... At least, on the bright side, My brother is planning on branching for the family... I feel happy for him :)

艾草

艾草

这是一部很感人的戏。剧中的男主角正好演出了我的心声。我是同性恋的同时也不想伤害我的家人。情愿不要告诉家人我心中的秘密也不想伤害他们的心。好挣扎哦！不过我也相信我的母亲也和剧中的艾草一样能接受我是同性恋的事实的。只是，我一直很不想让他们失望。

不过我也很想和我的母亲一起分享这部剧的情节。因为它的故事太好了。充满了生活的点点滴滴很实在。我的华语不好所以只能说到这里。拜拜！

This is a very touching story. The actor has just played my role in the movie. I'm a gay but at the same time I don't want to hurt my family. Rather not tell my secret, I don't want to hurt their feelings. But I do believe that my mom is just like 艾草, which she eventually will accept the fact that her son is gay. But, I just don't want to disappoint my parents.

However, I do wish to enjoy this loving story with my mom, because the story is just too good. It filled with every bits and pieces of life, very down to earth story. My Mandrin is not very good, therefore I'd like to stop here. Bye Bye!

Hey Handsome, Ouch！ It Hurts...

Being gay the biggest advantage is to be close with someone you like without them knowing. You get to sit side by side, secretly look at them, feel happy just to be near them or even be friend with them. But that's also the biggest disadvantage.

Lately, I've been to outstation for work and met a good looking guy. Kind of like how he look. Damn gorgeous man (at least to my standard that is). I even get to sit next to him to give some training on using the system we've developed. But, knowing that he is straight doesn't really hurt my feelings too.. Cause, I've expected most of the guys here I know are straight. I'm just the damn unlucky gay who happens to live in an all straight community.

That's why I've been silent all this while and only secretly admiring other guys in the closet. Pity that is... but that's life. Well, seems the title's not very much appropriate to this writing. But anyway, gotta crash now... tired week have just ended... new week to come.

Latter Day

Being silently gay, I've lived a life without anyone knowing. Therefore, I'm always interested in gay material stories. For example, I've bought a book about how a guy came out to admit his gayness. Movies about coming out, gay love, sort and sort. I've browsed through the Internet and downloaded a few of the good gay movies out there. The Love Of Siam, No Regrets, Shelter more and more. But, Today, I've finally caught a time to watch another gay theme movie. That is Latter Day. It's a nice loving story about how a Mormon came out and found a true love.

I'd wish someday I'll find my own love too. But I sometimes doubt that is it easy for a gay to find true love among ourselves. Since being a guy I know very well that Sex plays a big role and we don't need much love. But I'm pretty sure that's not true either... Love exist! Well, let's hope that my love will come soon as I've not been really in love for the whole 28 years...

Wish me luck!

The Late Bloomer

Ever since after my college life, when people ask me "Do you have a girlfriend?" I'd reply with a "No" and some may come to the question "Have you ever in a relationship before?" Naturally I'd answer "No." too.. So that probably caught their interest.. "Really??!! you never had a relationship before? Have you fallen in love then?" The subsequent answers are "No." until they are satisfied.

How weird is it that I have not had a relationship before? I wonder.. To me, it seems common, cause I never look for one. Maybe I was ugly back when I was still studying. God knows why. However, fallen in love on the other hand, may have occurred to me. There are guys I kind of liked when I was schooling. But I'll always deny that and always assume I'd wish to have an elder brother like him. How silly~

When I was younger, in the primary... I've already liked guys now that I think back of. But, I never knew that even though my classmates or even schoolmates are calling me gay, akua and all other slang that refers as gay. Guess they knew me better than I am.

In secondary, the blooming of hormones and spring of love spreads all over the school. I see guys and girls are getting along together. Some even tried the freshness of First Kiss, or even I've heard someone made love to other girl and bla bla bla... But being on the goody two shoes side, I've kept myself low and unnoticeable. My brother on the other hand, is a bright person that is known to many. Therefore, he too have had his very 1st puppy love. I'm glade that he's at least straight. Unlike the unlucky me...

In those years up to my college life, I've tried to prove myself that I'm not gay, since I have erections to straight porns too. I even have tried to fall for a girl. Well, she's pretty enough. But not to that I'd like to know her and get close to her or sort. I was just as easily attracted to guys that are good looking that stays in the same block in my hostel. They tend to go topless which makes me even more distracted from my work... That's how I struggle myself all these times. Resist and deny... But I finally gave in.

In the age of 27, my last trial to prove that I'm straight. I've got nothing but to resort to find a prostitute. I found this site that introduces many places for prostitution in my area. So, I've picked a day and took 1 of the advices and when for a "massage". I did get erections, but I did not get much aroused by the lady and I ended up beating myself to cum. How sad that is.... This maybe one of my biggest secret I have let out... But, since that day, I have accepted what I am and admitted at least to myself that I am gay. But the plus point is, I have no reasons of not liking guys now. I may have not come out to anyone, but I can have my pleasure of admiring other guys as I am gay as born.

That's all for today.... such a long story.

Being Single, Being Gay

A lot of time, People do ask me "Do you have a girl friend?" and I shyly say "No". Then, they'll keep on asking why. They seem to think that I'm quite a good looking lad and why would I be single. Well, I'm just acting shy and say I don't know. But deep down in my heart I'm very much clear of the reason. I don't seem to be much interested in girls than boys.

Ever since I was young, I was admiring handsome faces and triggered by the firm tough body whenever they play in the field shirtless. But I kept reminding my self I'm only liking pretty faces and boys generally are better looking than girls. And I gave all the reasons that I envy their body.. and I wish to have one myself... that's how I lied to myself these 20 over years. How pathetic!

Some people do actually suspect that I'm gay. But I quickly deny it. Because in my society gays are minority. Well, I think that gays are just minority as well in everywhere. But, I don't want to disappoint my family. So I'd rather take this secretly. But a secret will someday be broken out. That's why I start off with this blog to announce to the world that I AM GAY!!

The purpose of this blog is very much for me to express my feelings that I've kept this whole while. I just need a space for blabbering... excuse me for now.

1st Day - The Beginning

Just drop down to say hi.... Let's hope I'll keep this up to date.